23 Teen Drama Characters And How Likely They Would Be To Survive The Chaos At Euphoria High

Let's start with someone who would obviously own the halls at Euphoria High: the OG icon herself, Manuella Santos. She wouldn't even need to TRY to fit in. Put her in that school for one day and she'd have everyone walking down the hallway in a bejeweled blue thong and matching eyeshadow by the time the first bell rang. She and Maddy would either be besties or hate each other — maybe a bit of both.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 1,000

Is basketball even a thing at Euphoria High? Whatever. He'd probably date Maddy, then decide he actually loves Cassie, then go back to Maddy, then be shocked when it all blows up in his face. He'd probably be relatively popular, but I also feel like he'd bring the mood down at parties with all his brooding and weird literature references. Like, dude, we just asked you to pick up a case of beer, not recite Charles Bukowski.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 7

God help us all. He'd probably hang with McKay and some of the other jocks, but then they'd all collectively vote to kick him off the team after he tells everyone they don't understand the epic highs and lows of high school football. He might be able to get back into everyone's good graces by telling them where to get Jingle Jangle, though.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 4.5

You know, I wanted to say he'd get ridiculed for his whole "I'm weird, I'm a weirdo" attitude, but I actually think he miiiight do okay at Euphoria High. Mostly because of his ties to the Southside Serpents, and the fact that he probably wouldn't care enough to go to any parties or get into anyone's business. He might have to ditch the beanie, though.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 6

If there was ever a non-Euphoria character who was meant to be a Euphoria character, it's 100% Lu. Her fabulous outfits and makeup alone would make her a total catch at this school, but the real reason she would fit right in is her ability to be messy as hell. She would call out everything and everyone on their B.S., while having tons of scandals of her own. I feel like she'd fit right in with Maddy and Cassie.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 10

Oh god. Okay, so first of all, I feel like he'd definitely have some weird sexual thing going with Nate (although part of me likes to think Polo is too good for him — even if he is a murderer). He'd have a threesome with some random couple in the hot tub at Maddy's birthday party, and he'd probably end up hitting Nate in the head with a bottle of champagne or something.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 9

He would charm all the girls and guys at Euphoria High with that devilish smile and those irresistible salmon pants. He'd probably start off hanging with Elliot, Rue, and Jules, and buying drugs from Fez. Once he gets clean though, he spends his time writing semi-autobiographical plays with Lex. He hosts a few big parties here and there at the Hollingsworth mansion, even though he only has, like, two actual friends at that school.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 8

Lola, my beloved! My girl would have the best makeup looks in the school, and do everyone's eyeshadow for them for free when they're supposed to be in geometry class. She'd probably have a couple of minor scandals, like maybe hooking up with someone else's boyfriend at a party once, but for the most part, she'd be pretty drama-free. I feel like she would be good friends with Lex, and she'd get along well with Cassie and Maddy.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 8

I honestly feel like Marissa and her drama would be perfect for Euphoria, even though she would probably find herself getting in a lot of trouble. She gives me strong Cassie vibes, with a hint of Rue. She'd have a couple of sketchy relationships, throw up in Maddy's hot tub, and end up in the hospital after a night of partying gone too far. I'm not sure why exactly, but I could see her having flings with both Fez and Jules.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 9

Eric would undoubtedly be the comic relief we desperately need at this school. He'd audition for Oklahoma!, then decide he actually liked Lexi's version better. Nate would try to bully him, but Eric would team up with Rue and Jules and shut him down real fast. He probably hooks up with Elliot at least once.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 7.5

Oh, my Max. She would probably have a hardcore crush on Jules, but have absolutely no idea how to make a move. She tries to make Kat, Maddy, and Cassie come up with a cute friend group acronym like "M.A.N.G.," but the rest of them think it's dumb. She takes too many shots at Maddy's birthday party, professes her love for Jules, and then pukes in the hot tub.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 7

I honestly think Marcus would be justttt moody and mysterious enough to fit in with the Euphoria crowd. He would hate parties, but go to them occasionally and have deep talks about life with Fez over a blunt on the couch. I could see him being good friends with Ethan and maybe Elliot. He has a brief thing with Kat and climbs through her window a couple of times, then ends up hooking up with Cassie because she's drawn to his motorcycle and hair.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 7.5

If there's anyone we could count on to bring Nate Jacobs down, it's this sisterly duo. They'd earn Nate's trust somehow, then get him and his dad when they least suspect it and bring them in to Bowser's custody. The only thing I'm worried about is how much of a culture shock Euphoria High would be for them. They'd probably have to go to the private school across the street or something.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 5

Forget ending Nate Jacobs — Mona would absolutely obliterate his entire existence. She'd probably struggle to fit in at Euphoria High at first, but once she comes back with that pre-Season-1 makeover, she rules the school with her iconic looks and ruthless attitude.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 8

I'm getting chills just thinking about this. She'd probably be "friends" with Maddy's clique, but sees herself more as their leader and tries to tell them the exact outfits and shades of eyeshadow they need to wear every day of the week. Eventually, she pisses off Fez, Cal, Rue, Jules, Maddy, and the entire rest of the town (even Ali) and mysteriously disappears. She does, however, manage to make Nate cry at least once.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 7

Look, don't ask me why — I just feel like it would be so fun to drop Mike into the Euphoria universe. Everyone at school would be having major crises and scandals and Mike would just...vibe. He literally just dances and minds his business.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 6

My god, could you imagine Rachel trying to survive Euphoria High? She would try out for Oklahoma!, and if she didn't get the lead, she would simply send whoever did over to Fez's house and frame them for buying drugs. If she ever manages to get invited to a party, she brings two wine coolers and just sips on those for the night. She also walks through the halls belting out show tunes in her cat sweaters, and she usually pisses Maddy off before the first bell even rings.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 4

As strange as it sounds, I actually feel like Justin might have a better shot at a happy ending in the Euphoria world. Sure, there would be a lot of potential bad influences, but he'd also have a chance to be surrounded by people who know exactly what he's been through. I'd like to think Ali would mentor him — heck, maybe Justin, Rue, and Ali can even have their own little support group. 

Euphoria-worthy rate: 8

Similar to Justin above, I actually feel like Olivia would do okay at Euphoria High. I feel like she would probably be good friends with Rue and party with her for a bit at first. Once she realizes she needs to get her life back on track, however — heck, maybe Fez even cuts her supply off — she turns to Ali for guidance and forms a strong bond with him. Maybe she dates McKay, seeing as she has a thing for football players.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 8.5

Just IMAGINE. Dan would be exposing everyone's dirt left and right. He'd probably somehow know about Cassie and Nate before they even hook up, and he'd immediately blast the scandal to everyone. Nobody would be able to get away with anything under Gossip Girl's watch. You know what, as much as he sucks...maybe Dan is actually precisely the man we need to bring the Jacobs family down. Would he even last long enough at this school, though?

Euphoria-worthy rate: 6

So, I'm kind of torn on how Serena would fare in the Euphoria universe. On one hand, I feel like she would still be popular because she's gorgeous and rich and blah blah — but would she still be the it girl in this world? I feel like she would ruin literally every single party she goes to and then not understand why everyone is pissed at her the next day. She also definitely hooks up with her BFF's boyfriend in the bathroom at a party and hides in the bathtub afterwards.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 7

This one is just amusing to me. Imagine someone pulls out a joint and Brandon immediately launches into a sermon about how morally conflicted he feels about weed. He would probably do well with the girls at Euphoria High, but you could never tell him any secrets because he would always go home and tell his parents absolutely everything.

Euphoria-worthy rate: 3

Truthfully, I have no idea how any of the Vampire Diaries universe characters would fare in the Euphoria world. I just really, really want to see Dark Josie take Nate Jacobs OUT. Also, she'd probably date Jules (at least, until Hope Mikaelson transfers to Euphoria High).

Euphoria-worthy rate: 8